It took me two years to finally be here and still not with a clear mind I admit about my sexuality.Although I'm totally convinced that my family(both parents sides) would dissaprove of me liking girls because like I mentioned before they are very committed christians.I have learned to accept myself more in the past months than I ever would have in the years before.Finally I confided how I feel towards girls to two friends this time being dead serious because I always used to make a joke out of what was clearly my truth.It's really a different reaction to every person, one of my best friends already knew for a fact that I liked girls eventhough I just mentioned to her that I felt quite confused about my gender orientation.She told me to take my time trying to figure it out and she'll love me regardless.Another best of friends said she loves me and it changes nothing but there was this one comment that really got to my nerves and I pushed it away,I figured those type of statements are always going to be there and I know she didn't mean no wrong. She said that I probably need a good lay from both a female and a male to figure out what I like more, but reading through instagram posts on bisexuality made me realize quite a lot on the topic and the usual comments people make about it. At this point I feel no need to rush into putting a label on myself, nor do I know with certainty that I only like girls or both male and female however, I know for a fact I'm not straight. It's crazy because we're drilled into our heads since a young age that we're to know what we want at the age of 20 and above like we can't change at all as soon as we enter our twenties. I'm 21 still trying to figure this out and all I can say is that if you don't place your self love first and commit to loving yourself more everyday you might end up facing very gloomy days and it's not fair for anybody to go through that. This is the first time I openly share my sexuality with others and the good thing is 'story place' is as anonymous as you wish for it to be. Ending this(I know I've bored you enough and this is long) I wanna share this awkward thing that happened to me the other day.My siblings and I were watching a movie and My brother carelessly said that I'm a lesbian it wasn't the first time he blurts it out, but this time my parents were walking in the living room as he said it, then my sister speaks up saying I'm bisexual because I like both male and females. I swear I'm so thankful the lights were off because I felt my face heat up at their statements and I couldn't even defend myself I had no answer and I think I stuttered a bit lol. My parents looking like they were all ears in, just stood staring at everybody.Then my younger sibling blurts out "y que importa que es digo? No iva hacer un difference"( "and what does it matter what she is? I mean it wouldn't make a difference") and I felt my smile grow big on its own and everybody even my parents started laughing. Even before this ordeal I'm convinced my parents would love me regardless of my sexual orientation,that wouldn't change their love towards me but they'll have a hard time accepting,if they ever do accept, my sexual orientation.It would very much scare them I'm sure because of all the problems I can face in this messed up world being part of the lgbtq community and the hateful comments of other family members or church members.Was going to post this yesterday but could never leave Ivana hangingšā¤
