hey, me. its you. but not quite. when you read this you may be older. you may be wiser. you may have some things that i want. and i am happy for you. i also acknowledge that you may be going through some rough things right now. so am i. i could hardly wake up this morning, shivering from not only the cold, but the icy grip of a recurring nightmare. i miss some people. i hope that you have found peace in their abscence, both physical and emotional. for this, a love letter, i am unsure of how to begin. ive never written a love letter before, but i assume it is somewhat intuitive in that one writes what they love about the letter's recipient. so, here goes: i love your strong will. your passion. your willingness to make changes. i know its hard, but youve persevered for 16 years. living and breathing. doing hard things. i love that you take care of those close to you. you ensure their comfort and wellbeing as much as you can. there is valour in that. you may not always experience a full range of emotions, but that may pass. its a symptom, not a personality trait. you have issues, and youre willing to face them, yet you also know when to distract yourself (please be a little better than me right now; im still learning). you love the sky. the trees. rocks. water. everything that the earth is made of is something you love. you are love. you are change. you are strength. you write about what matters to you. you want to see it go somewhere, get into someones head, inspire them to make a change. you want to hear your songs at protests for human rights, just like TX2. you want to be your own perception of cool; no one else's. that in itself is pretty cool. yes, you have role models and idols, but who doesnt? you accept that youre different from them. like how youll never be white, or skinny, or have straight hair. youre indo-caribbean. queer. trans. bi. questioning. overweight. you have dyed hair (probably, cause i do). youre a leftist. you care. you value respect above all else, with cleanliness following in a close second. yes, youre the image of your mother. a little gayer, a little sillier, a little more radical (though still much more tempered than some). but still just like her. i know. i love her too. youll be glad to know that your round face and soft body is from her. your ringlet curls and flatter fingernails come from her as well. the way you smile, when your eyes narrow without your mouth moving? that's mom. i wish you well, surya. you deserve happiness. and you will find it, someday soon, i hope. all my love, 🔆surya🔆
